I love the holiday Christmas Season. The lights, the cold nights, the free skating rink in our city, the Christmas Markets and craft fairs. I love it all. Unfortunately I have a family that does not, and some of my family in general does not wish to participate in events. So I am alone and lonely and quite often hurt.
Last night was one of these times yet AGAIN. Tuesday night a GF of mine blew me off and said she forgot we had plans then Wednesday morning, I had asked my sons girlfriend to go to the Christmas Market and she had said yes, well at 5pm she said she wouldn’t be able to go ,she was off to the gym and would make her way to our house around 7pm and please save her dinner.
I then went and asked my son if he wanted to go he had a lame ass excuse of it’s a Wednesday night (I didn’t ask him to go clubbing till 4am) I asked him to the Christmas Market and lights at Canada Place. This is max a 2 hour event, like home by 8pm so just an excuse.
My husband & I barely getting along so I don’t ask him anymore, being in public I dont’ want to argue & it’s too exhausting.
I was in tears again, my family has no desire to do anything with me, I have even had to decorate my tree alone. It saddens me, I want that connection. I was so hurt. I am also trying to learn my lesson, stop asking them.
As a mom you do things even when you don’t want to, like cleaning vomit, ensuring your child is always first before you, stand on a socccer field in the wind and pouring sideways rain in November, go to Christmas concerts that never end, do laundry that you swore was just done but it ended up in the laundry again, cook nutritious meals even though you’d really like to just have cheese and crackers for dinner and call in a night, volunteer on the PTA’s, Lunch Committees, Grad Committees the list is endless as a mom and not that I didn’t enjoy it but sometimes I didn’t want to go.
So I have decided to enjoy this holiday season without them I want to go to the events, there is Christmas Carrolling duels tonight in Gastown, there is a Christmas Fair tomorrow night that I am going to, I also want to go ice skating and I’ll be damned if my Bah humbug of a family is going to make me feel so alone that I don’t go and enjoy the season I love. I dry my tears and remember having family doesn’t guarantee happiness or not feeling lonely and I am going to go and love the holiday season!
LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE AND ENJOY!