Upset turns to Anger turns to Self Care.

I wrote a whole blog post on my marriage and how awful it is, I still have husband that is drinking.  It’s not pretty.   I will not post it yet, I can’t it’s too painful, I am too alone to let it out to the world.  What I am focussing on today the first Sunny Summery Saturday is myself instead of the anger, pain, resentmentI feel for my marriage.  I started today at about 5:30AM with a Breath of Fire Meditation then out for a beautiful run, on a gorgeous morning and treated myself to a latte felt good to be outside, felt good to have the sun on my face.  My husband then text to apologize for last night which just in turn made me upset again which with me turns to anger.   I am unsure why when I’m hurt I get angry but I do I always have. Then the anger turns to resentment .  Today I’m trying to turn my anger to self care so resentments don’t build up it’s not easy but I am trying and that’s sometimes all one can do is try. So I eat lunch I sit in the sun, I write, I work I breathe.  Breathe again, look around at the flowers, turn some music on (I’m listening to Malibu by Miley Cyrus ) I find peace, I breathe again.  I decide to book in a meditation group tonight and possibly a yoga, I need people tonight.  Being very aware of this is my day today.  It’s a beautiful day to be sober.  I designed this day, not everything is great but it’s a lot better than being hungover!

 

xo Christina

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